After being spurned by college coaches, Philadelphia Eagles turn to the high school ranks

In an attempt to to infuse some fresh coaching talent into the NFL, The Philadelphia Eagles have abandoned their search for a proven college head coach and are focusing on Wilkes-Barre, PA high school coach Bill Wambaugh.

Bill’s been the head coach of the Chester A. Arthur high school varsity team for 3 years, amassing an impressive record of 21-5-4, and is ready to make the leap into the NFL.

“Hell, I know exactly what to do with those boys. They need some motivation and I’m just the guy to do it”, Wambaugh said.

“Back in Wilkes-Barre, we have a little something called ‘positive reinforcement’. When a player does something real good, I personally take him out for a little bowling and then for some Pizza. I think that’s something Mike Vick or DeSean Jackson would really appreciate.”

Owner Jeff Lurie thinks it’s about time an NFL team thinks outside the box when it comes to coaching. “Choosing Bill is an excellent opportunity to get the team back to the basics, and Bill’s around the same size of Andy Reid, so we could save a few bucks on sweaters and windbreakers.”

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